Self-Love for the Beginner
I once told my single friend something (from a married woman’s perspective) that got her PRESSED! I said, “Before you get married, you cry. After you get married, you cry.”
And I could tell she wasn’t haven’t it! And honestly, if someone would’ve said the same to me before finally meeting my person, I too would have given a ‘criminal offensive side eye’—SIDE EYE! 😑
Because between my Caribbean upbringing, Purity Culture and Hollywood movies—I was CONDITIONED to believe that getting married would solve all my problems! My skin would clear up, I’d grow 3 inches taller, and I’d get all the sweet cuddles I wanted WHENEVER I wanted them. 🙃
As we approach 2 years of marriage, one truth has become glaringly evident: Everywhere you go, there you are!
In other words, who you are before you say “I do” is exactly who you’ll be thereafter; marriage doesn’t magically change that.
Which goes back to my first point; the subject of what “upsets you” in marriage may change, but any issue you don’t deal with before jumping the broom will 100% show up in your new union!
Which is why my biggest dating advice to single people who desire marriage is this: DO THE WORK while you wait!! Heal, grow—get into therapy. And for heaven’s sake, please learn to LOVE YOURSELF!!
YOU teach people how to treat you. And my husband can attest that the times where I am the moodiest or complain the most about what he’s NOT doing—are when I’ve been low on my self-care game. 😅 When I haven’t been sowing into my own garden and therefore begin putting unfair expectations on him to meet my needs.
But you see, no amount of love, attention, or affection from others can quench the drought of a person’s own self-rejection.
Read that again.
If YOU are not loving you well—setting proper boundaries, listening to your body, being good to you—how can you expect others to?
Sis, today’s episode of My Kindest Life is for you. In it, I share 5 practical ways to love yourself well and thereby communicate value to your core. (CLICK HERE TO WATCH)
Now THAT’s something I can promise will likely clear up your skin! 🤣
—NL
…
Have you been neglecting yourself or ignoring your needs? What are some ways that you realign when you realize you’ve been slacking in self-love? Comment on the video and let me know! <3