On Disappointment & Surrender
We hear a lot about dreams coming true. But what happens when they don’t?
What if you’ve spent years—decades even—believing for something and it just hasn’t happened? What then?
Disillusionment.
Anger.
Despair.
These are just a few of the feelings that suffocate a soul in the wake of the disappointment. And I want to offer a lifeline on how to move forward—on how to get unstuck from the loop and begin thriving none the less.
I once had a dream to be a well-known singer—traveling the world and creating amazing music that moves the masses. And before y’all jump in with well-meaning encouragement of, “Oh, it’s not too late! It can still happen.” Yes, perhaps. But I also need you to recognize that one size does not fit all. And sometimes, there are very real shut doors that require you to come to terms with them.
Whether the doors are permanently shut or temporarily for a season does not minimize how painful its current reality is.
Sometimes what we hope for simply does not happen (as planned).
Like believing for a family member to be healed of cancer but they die.
Or believing God for a husband and kids of your own but then you hit menopause with no beau in sight.
There comes a point when we must decide whether to keep hanging on to a <specific> dream, aim or desire—or to let go.
Everyone is QUICK to talk about “hoping against all odds” for that miracle—for the impossible. And sometimes that is necessary. But I want to talk about when the healthiest, kindest, and best thing to do is to give up.
When the cost to hang on begins to outweigh the benefit you seek and when your refusal to acknowledge reality begins to blind you from being present with the beauties of today.
Here is the message, dear friend: Surrender.
I KNOW, I KNOW—it hurts. 😭 You just KNEW. You had hopes. Why you? Didn’t God say?
I don’t have all the answers. But I do know that you can ABSOLUTELY recover, heal, and live an AMAZING life in spite of this—even in light of this.
And this is how:
Face reality.
Grieve. —bitterly if you need to.
Accept.
Find today’s gifts.
Practice daily gratitude.
Something happens when you go through this process: Hope.
Yes, dreams come true. And who knows; it might come true as soon as you let go or way later when you least expect it. But it also may not. Not in your lifetime. Can you be okay regardless? Can you walk through life with hands wide open and a heart richly trusting? —that God knows, that He is good? That what’s meant to be will be?
I’m NOT saying don’t have faith. In fact, if you have the courage, strength and wind in your sails to keep hanging on—to push and continue pursuing that dream—then by all means, please do!! Don’t stop. Miracles absolutely still do happen!
But for the person who has been in the race for a very long time and you know the grace has lifted: you have permission to pivot—to find where the cloud now rests.
There is someone somewhere just like you who has it way worse than you—and yet they are incredibly happy, thriving, and living their best life! You are one surrender away from that being your experience too.
Give in to the invitation to lay that dream to rest. And if and when you’re presented with a new, beautiful alternative—take it! You just might find it’s much better than you could have imagined.
—NL
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Have you ever had a dream that you had to surrender? How did you make peace with reality? How did God come through in ways that you did not plan?
Share below. And if you know someone who needs this message, please forward this blog to them.